Being Liam Neeson

Liam became a bit of a hero to me recently when I discovered he quit alcohol at the ripe old age of sixty one (61).

Just like me. 

Note: There may never be another mention of Liam Neeson on this site.

DAY 20

I haven't been able to enjoy being alcohol-free yet, well, not really. My sleep pattern has been decimated. I know that sounds a tad dramatic. I'm sleeping, but at all different times. The most time I slept without waking is three hours. I constantly feel tired. This is making me feel contempt for alcohol and I know if I had a beer tonight (just one, definitely no more than two) I would have a wonderful sleep. I also know that my sleep pattern will improve soon (hopefully soon) and I'll be sleeping very well without a night time beverage.

My appreciation for sleep has increased, hugely. I've always slept a lot, so the lack is having a bad affect on me.

It's Day 20. I feel very good about that. I saw a clip on Insta about a guy drinking on Day 156.

Someone asked me a while back, when I was trying to quit, what was the point in not drinking. I bought drink on the way home from that visit. The same person also told me about her pal who only smokes while on holiday. I had said how I don't feel the same about spending time in Málaga (a place I consider my spiritual home) since I quit smoking in 2019. On my way to buy drink I thought about how holiday only smoking might be an option. Crazy, fuking absolutely crazy.

The desire never goes. I hope the desire keeps its head down. I can resist anything but temptation. Thanks, Oscar.

DAY 5

Alcohol has been part of my life since forever. The longest I went without it in my adult life was ninety-two days. I was living in my Honda at the time, so it was easy not to imbibe. I wrote a book about a man living in a car. Roddy Doyle endorsed it. That's a different story. Today's story is about agitation. It's about my body being void of alcohol and the physical and psychological aspects that come into play because of its absence.

My sleep pattern is a mess. That's not good. One good thing is that I've started to write for the first time since a near death experience in 2019.

It's time for breakfast. I'll get back to this later.

DAY 3

Blog entries are probably going to have a random aspect. I'm not sure where I'm going with this. It seems like a good idea, at the moment. One of the things about quitting alcohol is to find things to replace the habit - so people have told me. For me, writing is one of those things. I wrote a lot in the past, but ot was a long time ago. My brain took a bit of a smack in 2019 when I picked up a virus that almost killed me. My mind seemed foggy afterwards. I didn't write again. I can only write when my mood is right, when my mind is right. I think it's a lot more right now.

There are a few reasons for my decision to stop drinking. Finances would or should improve. Health. I can't handle alcohol as well as I used too. Can't handle the mornings after the nights before.

I want to see if I can stop for a year and then take stock of my circumstances. Do I believe I can do it? I'm thinking of the Henry Ford quote: Whether you think you can or think you can't , you're right. 

Right now, I'm not sure what I think.